But something about this lifelong covenant - something about knowing that the gig with this one roommate is till death do us part - forced us to speak up about the quirks, idiosyncrasies, and sins we otherwise could have ignored for a few months or a couple years.Īs two rescued sinners, banking on Jesus for eternal redemption and for increasing redemption here in this life, we didn’t want to keep everything at surface level. We both previously had Christian roommates and disciplers who had pressed on our own sin and pushed us toward Jesus. All along, the mess had been inside us (and still is), in our selfish and sinful hearts, and the real cleaning couldn’t begin happening until it was out in the open. “The best marriages get better and better, but only after things first get worse.”īut these were good messes to make, ones we desperately needed (and still need). Which was such a good thing, though it soon got a little messy.
The seven year itch free#
But once we were both all in, both fully believing this was our unbending commitment till death, with no loopholes or exegetical outs, then, with the conditionality of dating and engagement aside, and the unconditionality of covenantal marriage now in place, we were finally free to be our real selves. Our dating was so peaceful - too peaceful, it turned out - and engagement only had a few speed bumps. The stresses, strains, tensions, and pains of marriage caught both of us off guard early on. Neither of us would say that marriage has been easy, but here seven years in, we can say it’s a glorious thing that there are no outs but death. We left father and mother, covenanted to become one flesh (Genesis 2:24), and have taken Jesus’s words with utter seriousness: “What God has joined together, let not man separate” (Matthew 19:6).
No allowances for any seven-year itches or any other excuse. Not just in plenty, joy, and health, but also in want, sorrow, and sickness. On June 29, 2007, just a few months before Pauli was announcing her idea in Germany, my wife and I stood before our pastor, our friends, and our family - and most importantly, before our God - and vowed to each other,Īs long as we both shall live. Increasingly, the studies are finding there’s no magic number at all, and the number seven, as well as any kind of typical point of “itch,” has just been a myth for decades. Subsequent research claimed initially that such a seven-year itch was confirmed by the data, but more thorough investigation eventually pointed to four years, then other research to twelve years, then still more to three years. At first he resists his desires to flirt, but soon he initiates toward her, though ultimately she rejects his overtures.įollowing the movie’s success, the idea of a “seven-year itch” caught traction in a culture of no-fault divorce and became a convenient excuse for boredom with monogamy. It was about a married man who, after sending his wife and son away to Maine for the summer, discovers an attractive single lady (played by Marilyn Monroe) has moved into his building. Or did the film create the idea altogether? The script, which would sound like relatively tame theater today, teetered on the edge of scandalous 60 years ago. The world needs to see in Christian marriages a pointer to the One who stays with his bride through thick and thin. It’s also the title of an iconic 1955 motion picture, which popularized the phrase in relation to marriage.
The “seven-year itch” is a widely recognized psychological term suggesting the seven-year mark as a common time when spouses sense they have drifted away from each other and desire to explore other romantic interests. Pauli did not win in her bid for party leadership. German politician Gabriele Pauli shocked her conservative party and sent waves through news outlets worldwide when she proposed in September 2007 that marriage should only last seven years.ĭescribed at the time as “Bavaria’s most glamorous politician,” the 50-year-old, twice-divorced, motorcycle-riding Pauli campaigned for party head, in part, with the hopes of institutionalizing what some have called “the seven-year itch.” Her plan was that marriages would automatically dissolve after seven years, at which point the spouses could renew their union or go along on their own merry ways.
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